Well guys, I don't know where or even how to begin to tell you what has happened to me. It has been pretty painful as well as disgusting. The things that people can and will do is beyond my comprehension.
Things at my work were going pretty well. I had made partnership, was going to open up a sales office and had a developer interested in using our company to market their properties.
On June 5th, I had a minor dispute with the president of the company over an invoice. Now J. and I have butt heads in the past and he gets very very upset when it happens. So, traditionally, when it happens, we would both just take a breather from each other for a day. Then, by the next day one of us would find a way to break the ice and everything would be ok.
Well, on June 6th, he sent me an e-mail that said that he didn't want to be a part of the partnership and his wife wouldn't be available to help me either. He basically said he didn't care about the business and wanted nothing to do with it, the ball was all mine to carry. I was ok with the idea of doing it on my own but that wasn't what I wanted. I wanted to keep him in the mix because I loved working with him so much. So, over the next few days, I was getting sort of depressed and didn't know how to resolve the issue.
On Thursday, June 8th, I was tense and one of my colleagues noticed my tension. She is J.'s niece. Many times she has had issues with her uncle as well and at times has wanted to leave the company because she was so upset. So, I decided to tell her how I was feeling. I thought she would understand and I could air out my frustration.
That weekend, I decided to take time off to regroup and by Monday would have a solution in place.
When I arrived at my office, my desk had been packed up. They went through every personal item I had and kept all customer contact information that was scribbled in notebooks and placed in folders. They tried to keep my Franklin Covey planner pages (Backfill pages with contact information, etc.) but I was able to get that back. The kept three years of work and I was forced to walk away without it and start from scratch.
I don't know how to explain to you what I have been going through. It is the equivalent of having someone you care about die. It took about 5 days for J. to get around to e-mailing me why he had done this. A list of my crimes was sent to me. I guess while they were doing this, they had to picture me as some demon in order to be able to tell themselves that what they were doing to me was ok. Not a new concept. I never ever in a million years thought that he would have done something like that to me. Never. If I had, I would have made sure I kept copies of my customers.
This company was my heart and soul. I was the first one to come over and help get it all set up. I worked my ass off to help get it off the ground. I could make a list a mile long of the things I had done for them. That was why they had offered my partnership. It was my future and my life. I thought I would be there forever.
I don't think words can possibly describe what I've been feeling. I still wake up in the middle of the night and my chest feels like it's going to explode. At times I would find myself wanting to just hurt the people around me. I kept driving out to Galveston to find relief. Somehow the ocean can soothe a weeping soul.
I have a good friend who cares deeply for me. When she found out what happened to me, she was furious; who wouldn't be? She knew I was in no position to go out and look for anything, so she did it for me. She called people and talked to them and then once she found the doors I could walk through, had me call and set up the interviews.
The first interview I went on was the one I ended up taking. I'm in a good place. I don't want to talk about it too much, yet. But what I can say is that it's the equivalent of going from waiting tables at Chili's to being a Chef at Tony's And the men I'm meeting....OH MY GOD. I have to get a new "do" and get my nails done and everything.
I think when I get past the hurt and the anger, I'm going to be very happy here. My life is going to change dramatically over the next six months.
So, there you have it. That's what's been going on.
Thursday, June 29, 2006
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6 comments:
Oh, that's just awful! I'd be furious if that happened to me. Hell, I'd burn the place down. Okay, well, maybe not, but I'd at least throw a rock through the window and run.
I hate that you had to go through that, but at least you're in a better place (and you're meeting men). I'd take it as a learning experience to keep copies of everything. Who knows what the future holds for you at this new place? Things could be better here all around.
Always assume the worst from people and cover your ass at all times. Took me 10 years in the workplace to learn that.
I think the hardest part is dealing with the feelings I have towards these people. I don't want to become like them and yet the emotions I feel can lead me there.
I'm so sorry. I've learned to never be surprised by what others can do to harm us. Sometimes it's the people we trust most that can cause us the worst pain.
I know what you mean about not allowing the emotions you are feeling to turn you into the same kind of person. I've dealt with that issue in my past. You will work through it.
Someone told me once that my biggest problem was that I had a tendency to put 100% faith and trust in people. He was right. I'm a person who can be trusted and naturally wanted to believe the same of others. Like Jason said though, when dealing with others it's best to cover your backend.
And, just look where all the heart break led. To a terrific new job. New opportunities often come out of very bad situations. I'm sure you will make the most of it.
Thank you guys for your encouragement. I'll start posting again. I've been really hurt by all of this and hope it will pass soon.
Oh my!
I'm glad to hear you have such a great friend that supported you, and that you're back on your feet. I can't imagine how much that must have hurt.
Good luck to you.
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