It's been a while since I've posted anything but y'all have definitely been on my mind. I just haven't really felt like posting.
Most of you have followed the events that lead up to my disappearance and I can tell you it has been very difficult. I have one foot in the presence and the other pulling out of the past. About 2 weeks ago, I decided to forgive them. Forgiveness is a funny thing. Once you've decided to forgive and stop hating, the emotions no longer have anything stuffing them down. So, they all came up. I thik the final purging was aobut a week ago Friday when I called my brother and sobbed for an hour. The poor guy didn't want to hang up the phone. He has trouble understanding why I'm crying so much because where I am is so much better and the potential for income and growth is so much greater. I lost my "family", I explain. I lost all that work and I was betrayed. I have to re-adjust to a different environment. Life goes on; it could be so much worse.
Adding to the stress of the past is the stress of the constant change where I am now. I do mean constant. When I started it was just one broker, myself, and two "assistants". One assistant became an agent and we brought on another agent and an office manager. Now, our office acquired a huge listing at one of Uptown's coolest lofts and with that we brought on about 5 more agents. The changes in themselves have brought me to tears as I try to just adjust. Our office manager bursts into tears also over the changes but we both seem to be troopers and keep moving forward.
Something else that's interesting is that we are an office of women. Our broker is a male and he's pretty much the only one. And thankfully we are all pretty cool women. I have a lot of fun with them; two of them have pulled me into their social circles and have included me in "girls night". Man, I haven't had one of those in a long time. It was really hard to connect with the girls in the office at my last place.
My sister flew down to visit me in August. It was the best time we have ever spent with one another and we are growing closer by leaps and bounds. I just wish we lived closer to one another!
I read Freebird's blog the other day. I hadn't been connected in so long that I logged on Wednesday and started reading about her "ex"; I was interrupted and couldn't finish it. Then on Thursday, I spent the day at the museum and while waiting for my entrance to Body Worlds, pulled her blog up on my blackberry. I had to get the rest of the story. Her story makes me think about what it is about women and our resolution. Cathy's story makes me feel the same way. We just keep going. But man, I'm ready for a break. Something that tells me that life gives back and rewards us for our dilligence. Is there a reward at the end for not taking all the hurt, anger and pain and just becoming a destructive bitch towards the ones who hurt us? Is there?
As I just mentioned, I saw Body Worlds on Thursday. It was really quite interesting and made me think about things. I'm so glad I'm not a smoker. I think the whole world should seet that exhibit. It takes about 2 1/2 hours to make it through if you get one of the audio thingies that talk you through it.
Ok, I think I'm caught up for now. I probably will start blogging again soon. I'm close to getting a digital camera and I have some sewing projects I want to post about.