Sunday, January 08, 2006


When hurricane Rita hit, I developed a friendship with two of my neighbors. Dawn and Jackie. I had known Jackie for quite some time but never really spent much time with her. I would invite her to my parties and such but she would never come. Now and then I would go over to her place and have a glass of wine and watch a little TV. We sort of made ourselves the block captains and kept inventory of those who were weathering the storm here.

That is when I got to know Dawn. The three of us just sort of formed our little click and we started hanging out just about every day. Jackie flew to San Fran. on a blind date and Dawn and I waited for her to return. Then, when Jackie returned, suddenly I was no longer included in the things they did.

I was really really hurt by this. I didn't want to approach either of them about it because I was afraid that i would break into tears and I didn't want them to see that. I also didn't want to become angry because they are still my neighbors.

So, I just decided to let it go and move on. I finally let it all go over Christmas.

Today, Dawn broke the ice and made an overture to talk to me. Apparently, someone tossed out a decent piece of furniture that she thought I would like, so she called me. When we got it in my apartment, we talked. It turns out it was Jackie that was preventing the three of us from being friends.

It is my understanding that something has occured that has created some division between the two of them. I told her she could still be friends with both of us even if we couldn't hang out as a threesome. Anyway, I hope that Dawn and I can pick up our friendship where we left off, I sincerely enjoyed hanging out with her.

Whatever happens, I'm so glad I got a chance to talk to Dawn about it.


Freebird said...

It seems that the older we get the harder it is to make friends. I've met people at school I really liked, but as soon as the semester was over the friendship was too. Anyway, I'm glad you and Dawn had a talk and to think you can thank whoever threw out that piece of furniture. :-)

A Girl From Texas said...

You know, I have noticed, too that the older I get the more difficult to make friends. I am settled in my routine and my work demands so much of my time.

Cathy said...

I'm so sorry you got your feelings hurt:-( Why in the hell do women have such a hard time at forming friendships? There is always one out there who has to try and break the group up. I've always thought the more friends the merrier.

I'm glad you got to talk to Dawn and hopefully you will all three be able to form some kind of bond that works. A woman needs her girlfriends darn it!

eaf said...

Amen to all that has been said thusfar. And I really admire the way you have handled the whole thing, too. It's hard sometimes to just let a friendship go when you don't know what happened, but by backing off, eventually you were able to learn more and there was little drama. You should be proud. And it's possible that your friendship with Dawn will be stronger because of it.

Forest Lady said...

Yes we do! Men grunting at us in response just doesn't cut it some times! I'm glad you got to talk to Dawn.

Chris said...

It's been my experience (observational and study) that both men and women deal with confrontation in different ways. Sounds obvious, right?

Anyway, the general theory is that men strive to get to the top of the pecking order (or, at least, establish their place in the pecking order) while women try to achieve a level of (apparant) equality, whether this is the case or not. This is also the reason why commonly a strong man is a "go-getter" and a strong woman is a "bitch". Women enforce this stereotype on their own much more harshly than men do.

Also, grunting can have many meanings thankyouverymuch. It's nuance!

Amy said...

It is hard to make friends as you get older. I think because you are limited in your interactions. At school there are so many different people, and you're all pretty much the same age and at the same stage in life. When you get to work, you're stuck with a limited group of people at varying stages of life and you don't always mesh on that level of "I want to hang out with you on non-work time." My husband still hasn't found a good group of friends up here and it's been almost 4 1/2 years.