Saturday, October 07, 2006

From Cyberspace to Paris, GFT 's and Andy's Transatlantic Rendzvous

I was reading a post on Queue's blog where he wrote about a possible real world meeting with someone he met online. I commented on a few meetings that I had; as a result I have decided to share my second online rendezvous with anyone who stumbles across my blog.

Before I begin, I would like to give you a little background information. The year was 1998, it was probably the worst year of my life; I was 38. I was going through some difficult times at work because I was trying to break out of my career as a secretary. God forbid a woman work her way up from being a secretary but a man can become president of a company starting off as a clerk in the mailroom. But that's a whole other story. My handle was "5rb"

Andy was studying Computer Science in Bath England. He was 30 something and recently divorced. He loved to play baseball and drink beer at the local pubs. His handle was "Andy"

The story itelf is actually very easy to share because Andy and I created a "journal" to record the event. One of us would write a section then e-mail it to the other to finish. Then, when we actually arrived we kept our own separate journals. In the end, we sort of decided not to share our separate journal entries.

Here begins the tale. I actually started the story.

"So secretive, can I unlock the door" was the message that came through my ICQ chat program. It was from Andy. I remember that at that particular time, I was researching information on the Indian culture. There was a guy that had been pursuing me from India and I was trying to learn as much as possible about his culture before allowing myslef to get tangled with him.

Normally, I don't respond to random chatters and usually ignore requests for chat since they all seem the same. I perceive these strangers as lonely people seeking admittance into my world hoping that somehow I can fill the empty gap in their lives. But am I really that much different? Afterall, I left myself available to receive these random messages. I assume that it was the lack of info on my bio that made me "mysterious".

From an initial message, one can easily detect a lack of creativity on the part of the initiator. "m/f age?" is usually a typical beginning. From there you can easily predict the next series of quesions and dialog. "What color is your hair, your eyes? What are you wearing? Do you like cybersex, I'm horny, etc." So, by this time I lose interest in the dialog and regret ever having allowed the intruder into my world.

But Andy's opening message was different. It implied mystery and begged for an adventure. It was an invitation or perhaps a request for permission to explore.

I saw a man here who perceived me as a mystery -- femme fatale. I sensed an intelligent, perceptive man seeking an intriguing, mysterious equally intelligent female with whom to engage oneself in fun, playful dialog.

All that from a message, you might ask? Ok, so I embellish a little - but truth be known, I wasn't that far off the mark.

And so having no idea where this path might lead me, I responded to Andy's one line with a chat request and allowed our adventure to unfold.

Andy's portion

The beauty of ICQ as a method for meeting women is the fact that any rejection one may suffer is relatively painless in comparison to the extrovert world of face-to-face meeting. One can afford to be more daring in one's choice of words and language when trying to initiate a conversation. This in turn has the effect that one finds oneself saying the "right" thing.

I did not give much thought to writing my first note to 5rb "so secretive can I unlock the door". Reading her brief biography gave little away but I took the word mysterious as an invitation.

Her immediate chat request came across to me as an invitation to try a few keys. However her first remarks gave me the impression that although it was OK to try various keys, they needed to at least have a similar pattern.

As well, I sensed a woman who was comfortable talking about herself in a fairly open and perceptive manner; a woman who thought carefully about the questions she asked, which was a refreshing change. She had an intensity about her that while being quite tiring also provided a greater depth of interest.


Tune in later for more.......


Freebird said...

Hmmm..interesting story.

A Girl From Texas said...

I've been so busy I haven't been able to continue...but don't worry, I'll "get er done". I'm not having that tattooed on my ankle!

Freebird said...

HA! Please don't, I have to stage an intervention.

Cathy said...

I have a friend who just joined She has been communicating with a guy whose headline is "Get er done." That alone would have caused me to block his communication.

I think I'll suggest she get an ICQ account. Anything to get her away from the Get er done guy.